Audiobooks Fit for Your Hogwarts House

hogwarts crest

It seems as though the Harry Potter fandom has been revived, especially since the release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and the upcoming cinematic premiere of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. If you’re like me and you welcome the seeming revival with open arms, you might be tired (although, to be honest, I could never be tired) of re-reading the Harry Potter series. I’ve compiled a list of audiobooks that are perfect for the Hogwarts House in which you are sorted.

Hufflepuff; for the just and loyal

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell– Feeling cast off when her best friend outgrows their shared love for a favorite celebrity, Cath, a dedicated fan-fiction writer, struggles to survive on her own in her first year of college while avoiding a surly roommate, bonding with a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words, and worrying about her fragile father.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky– Most people think 15-year-old Charlie is a freak. The only friend he had killed himself, forcing him to face high school alone. But then seniors, Patrick and his beautiful stepsister, Sam, take Charlie under their wings and introduce him to their eclectic, open-minded, hard-partying friends. It is from these older kids that Charlie learns to live and love, until a repressed secret from his past threatens to destroy his newfound happiness.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kahling– Mindy Kahling’s philosophy of friendship echoes the characteristics of a typical Hufflepuff. In this work, Mindy Kaling shares her observations, fears, and opinions about a wide-ranging list of the topics she thinks about the most – from her favorite types of guys to life in the Office writers’ room to her leisure pursuit of dieting and how much she loves romantic comedies.

Gryffindor; for the brave at heart

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman– A man returns to the site of his childhood home where, years before, he knew a girl named Lettie Hempstock who showed him the most marvelous, dangerous, and outrageous things, but when he gets there he learns that nothing is as he remembered.

My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult– About a sister’s bravery, love, and self-sacrifice.

Yes Please by Amy Poehler– I like to think that Amy Poehler is a Gryffindor, so her autobiography will entertain Gryffindors alike. She offers up a big juicy stew of personal stories, funny bits on sex and love and friendship and parenthood and real life advice (some useful, some not so much), like when to be funny and when to be serious.

Ravenclaw; for the clever and wise

Bone Clocks by David Mitchell– David Mitchell is certainly a clever writer, and his novels seem almost like large unsolvable riddles– perfect for any Ravenclaw. Following a scalding row with her mother, fifteen-year-old Holly Sykes slams the door on her old life. But Holly is no typical teenage runaway: A sensitive child once contacted by voices she knew only as ‘the radio people,’ Holly is a lightning rod for psychic phenomena. Now, as she wanders deeper into the English countryside, visions and coincidences reorder her reality until they assume the aura of a nightmare brought to life.

The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris– Main character Clarice Stirling, is, no doubt, a Ravenclaw. As a novice FBI agent she profiles the maniac cannibal, Hannibal Lecter, using one genius psychopath’s mind to track down another elusive killer, and risking her life in the process.

The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare– Bassanio, with the help of merchant, Antonio, borrows money from Shylock, a wealthy Jew, in order to woo Portia. Portia disguises herself as a lawyer and foils Shylock’s ability to exact retribution from Bassanio for failing to repay the debt.

Slytherin; for the cunning and ambitious

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn– On the morning of his fifth wedding anniversary, Nick’s wife Amy suddenly disappears. The police immediately suspect Nick. Amy’s friends reveal that she was afraid of him, that she kept secrets from him. He swears it isn’t true. A police examination of his computer shows strange searches. He says they aren’t his. And then there are the persistent calls on his mobile phone. So what really did happen to Nick’s beautiful wife?

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald– Amidst the decadence of wealthy Jazz Age society, an enigmatic millionaire is obsessed with an elusive, spoiled young woman.

The Prince by Machiavelli– Using as his model Cesare Borgia, a Florentine price who stopped at nothing to achieve and hold political position, it still has the power to shock. Machiavelli states what most governments do (but few admit) to keep ‘corrupt’ human nature in check. He suggests that leaders must be ruthlessly despotic as well as cunningly magnanimous – that cruelty is sometimes mercy in disguise – and that it is safer to be feared than to be loved.


Summaries taken from

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